just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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