I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize