i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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