i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is Oprah even human
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize