Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
