In the future we'll all be gay
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
