K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
