her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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