help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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