There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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