The maid of honor just puked.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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