I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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