8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
