I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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