he told me I talked like a deaf person
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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