Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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