I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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