The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
