my mouth tastes like poor choices
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
