I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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