so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
