Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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