I need help removing her.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
