Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
