So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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