I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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