My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
