I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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