There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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