yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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