He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
