i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
