He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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