my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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