I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
