Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
