You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
