seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
