Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
