You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
