I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
zippers are such a cool invention
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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