I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Four minutes until I can fart!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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