Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
