she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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