Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
