Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
pray to the hookup gods
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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