my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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