Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
