it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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