Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
