I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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