her vagine was all disorganized.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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