He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
