I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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