home. puking in laundry basket.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
50% drunk capacity currently
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
