After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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