there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
