my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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