She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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