i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
