Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize