my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
FUCK WHALES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
