oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
